Everyone's a Photographer.

If you’re reading this, I’m sure you’ve heard of Instagram. If you haven’t, then congratulations on dragging yourself out from under your technological rock and finding this little blog. Google and return, my friend.

There are two types of people (and now you are one of them!): those who think Instagram is full of arty wankers frothing over their latest ‘photograph’, and those that say fuck it, I’m excited about it, and while you’re facewanking* I’m spending a couple minutes creating something on my handy little iPhone that is mine.

You can probably guess which one I am.

(I love Instagram. And all the other photo-editing apps that come along for the ride.)

It’s just…. fun. And satisfying! There’s nothing better than making a photo something so extraordinary, you can’t tear your eyes away, because all you can think is: that’s mine!!!

Camera+ and PictureShow are my apps of choice, but I’ve been known to dabble… Which ones do you use?

*Facewanking. (adverb) To spent pointless minutes trawling through someone’s Facebook profile and feeling ridiculous amounts of envy over their life. In the meantime, you look like a zombie with bad posture.

Ally's Guide to Dip-Dying, Mess-Free Perfection!

So you want to dip dye your hair. Good for you! It gets tricky.

I’ve been dip-dying my hair with some regularity for the past couple months now. In that time I’ve had bright pink hands, a bright pink sink, and masses of bright pink glad wrap. After two months, through some trial and error, I’ve figured out the easiest way to do it, mess free. As I right this, the dye in my hair is setting, and it took me les than five minutes.

Ok, ready? Good.

Step 1: The tools.

You will need:

Hair dye. Duh. I’ve gone with Manic Panic's Hot Hot Pink, but whatever floats your boat.

Two hair ties.

Two plastic bags. (Preferably small. With tie able ends. The kind you might use to pick up dog poo.)

A small container you never want to use again. If you get one of those things restaurants use to put sauce in, that’s perfect.

A chopstick.

An old towel.

Step 2: Preparation.

BEFORE YOU START, put the towel on the floor. There should be no spillage, but you never know. And your housemates may not appreciate colourful splodges on the floor as much as you do.

Take your shirt off. Old shirts get in the way, and dye comes off skin better than clothes. Trust me.

Pop some conditioner into your container. How much is up to you. If you want your hair a little lighter than your choice of colour, put lots in. If not, just pop a little. Your hair will thank you.

Pour some hair dye into said container and mix in with the chopstick. Now wash the chopstick immediately in the sink, otherwise it will do what chopsticks do and roll of somewhere, leaving arty stains.

Step 3: The Dying Part.

Tie your hair into two pigtails, towards the front of your head.

Get one plastic bag, turn it inside out, and then scoop some hair dye into it. Holding the pigtail away from your body with your other hand, use your plastic-bag-covered-hair-dye-extraordinaire hand to rub the hair dye through the bottom of your pigtail.

You don’t need to comb in through. Just rub it in thoroughly. Combing it will just flick hair dye into inappropriate places. Like your knees.

When finished, grab the hair through the plastic bag, use your other hand to flip the bag over the hair, and tie it around your ponytail. Voila! All the hair dye is on the other side of the plastic.

Repeat with your other ponytail.

Step 4: While you’re waiting…

Clean the container IMMEDIATELY. It will probably stain, but that can’t be helped. Scrub the sink clean while you’re at it.

Now relax, knowing you won’t accidentally get dye anywhere during this process. Write a blog post. Plan some outfits that will look extra awesome with your new hair.

Step 5: The End.

Wash it out. Either jump in the shower, or just one pigtail at a time. Try not to flick your hair too much. 

When it runs clear, your good. Wrap your head in the old towel you used earlier just in case.

And now swan around town, getting disapproving stares from old people and jealous stares from the young'ens. That’s right, you look freaking fabulous.

How to make an art museum a wee bit more exciting.

I love a bit of art. I like to get a little highbrow sometimes. But ohmygod, afters a few months (or even weeks) in Europe, you'd rather scratch your own eyeballs out than visit another art museum.

But if you suffer from I-may-only-be-here-once-I-have-to-see-EVERYTHING syndrome, like so many of us, here's a handy tip from me to you:

Wander round the gallery with your headphones plugged in and your volume turned up. 

Dubstep in the Louvre, Drum and Base in the Musee D'Orsay, something super eerie in the Museo Nacional del Prado (because you need it to counteract all the Jesus paintings). You can visit the same museum a dozen times, and have a different experience each time. All based on the type of music you select.

Forget the audio guide. How long will you really remember the year it was painted in, anyway? Till next week? Till the next painting? Till coffee? Have some fun with Rembrandt, and observe the superb brushwork instead. All while enjoying you're own private rave, of course.

Try this next time you're staring at another soppy Jesus face. Or better yet, Mephistopheles.